All sarcasm aside, there are a few things I wish customers knew about how I approach my job. The truth may shock you.
1. When I say “Hi. How are you?”, I’m actually expecting a response. That’s why I chose to say something that ended in a question mark.
2. Your jokes aren’t funny. For example, Me: ”Your total is $19.60” You: “1960!? What a good year!”
3. If you ask me where something is (assuming I actually answer you instead of pretending I didn’t hear you), I probably lied just to get you to go away. I never move from my square foot of space, how would I know where things are located?
4. If the barcode on your item doesn’t ring up, just be semi-convincing when I ask you how much the item was. That’s all the motivation I need to not do a price-check. Seriously, just lie. It makes it easier for me, and your wallet.
5. When I have nobody at my register, and I look over to you and say “I can help you over here…” that’s not actually an offer. It’s just a statement. “I can” does not translate to “I want to”. So for future reference, just stay in the line you’re already in. Even if your waiting behind 5 people. That way, I can continue to do nothing and get paid for it.
6. I don’t like to be called “miss”, “lady”, or “ma’am”. I’m only 17, you’re making me feel old. I prefer terms such as ”kiddo”, and/or “sexy b*tch”.
7. I will lie about anything to keep you from getting upset. Even when dealing with those small, trivial things. For example, You: “Is this on sale?” Me: “uhh..yeahh…”. And yes, on occassion, I will ring up an expired coupon and not tell you that the register didn’t accept it. Since the register still beeps, you think it went through, when really, I just throw it away when you leave. I’ve learned to never get in the way of a customer and their coupon usage.
8. When the light above my register is not lit, my lane is closed. The lights aren’t there for decoration. On = open. Off = closed. And yes, I’m onto your little tricks. I’m fully aware that the second I turn around to bag someone’s stuff, you’ll sneak your boxes of cereal onto the belt while I’m not looking. This practically forces me to ring you out even though I’m supposed to be leaving.
9. Nothing makes me cringe more than when you stand at the end of my lane to look over your receipt. I’d prefer for you to stand somewhere else while looking for something to complain about. It makes me look less responsible for possible error.
10. Lastly, a rule of thumb: If you have nothing interesting to say, just stop talking. I won’t judge you or anything, even if you stop mid-sentence because it took you that long to realize that what you wanted to say wasn’t actually worth saying. I don’t really care that your son just ran out of Hot Pockets this morning, or that you “only came in for a few things, and ended up spending $100.” Don’t get me wrong, I like conversation, I just hate trying to come up with a response for these types of dead-end comments.
I’m glad I had this opportunity to ramble, and explain myself to you so you can better understand me as a person. But please, don’t return the favor. Chances are, I don’t care.