I’d like to take this space to express my appreciation for my uniform. The smock. It might just be my favorite ensemble. Allow me to highlight some reasons why you should rock the smock as often as I do.

  1. The fit. Smocks are great if you’re looking to flatter your hour-glass figure, or accentuate your wonderful woman-like curvatures. They fit to your body so nicely, it’s like it was custom made. It screams SEX.
  2. It’s like a vest, but bigger and better. The “elongated vest” style is a great approach to a work uniform. Short vests are too scandalous. It’s important to add more length in order to stay modest. Nobody wants a short-vested slut touching their groceries.
  3. It’s easy to rhyme. ie: “Don’t mock my smock or I’ll clean your clock.”, or the convenient example above: “rock the smock”.
  4. It’s great to just wear around if you’re not looking impress anyone. Not a soul.
  5. It’s so comfy, you could sleep in it. Because your smock is probably 3 sizes too large, it’s great for that impromptu nap across the conveyor belt that you’ve been daydreaming about.
  6. The pockets. The incredibly large, deep pockets are great. Conservatively sized pockets are over-rated. You should have to physically bend over in order to get something out of the bottom of your pocket.

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